Written by Roy Harper

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It was right around midnight and I heard a clatter
I wasn't concerened what was the matter.
I fluffed my pillow and reassured Ma -
"Go back to sleep. It's Santa Claus."

Down the chimney, to the living room,
He took care of business like a sonic boom;
And then I heard a "ho, Ho, Ho ",
and I knew off he'd go.

But all of a sudden I heard a thump, thump, thump
Perhaps Santa's sleigh on my house did bump.
So I decided I better take a look
I put up the ladder and climbed to the roof.

Now, I knew Santa had looked in his book
and he'd found that I've been good,
but up on the roof what did appear -
a 'special' gift from a reindeer.

I've seen 'droppings' before, but never this size
fall out of the clouds or down from the sky;
Here was something earthly made -
a miniature sewer on my roof did lay -
the size of a bowling ball
the smell of chocolate chip,
And over the side of my roof -
an awful drip !

Then Ma awoke to look outside
There she saw the terrible sight:
Tho not too smart; she DID know
that brown is not the color of snow !

I took a double strength garbage bag to the roof
and admidst the prints of reindeer hoof;
I took my shovel and held my nose
Put the 'gift' in the bag,and got the hose.

As I watered the mess to the ground
I looked up for a passing sound;
It was Santa's sleigh, reindeer collars going jingle
Santa waved; I gave the reindeer 'the' finger.
"Goodnight to All", I heard him say
"Hey Santa - next year come without the sleigh".

Have no doubt that Santa is real
He does come each and every year.
The evidence left behind is surely proof
cause I was blessed with Rudolph's poop !!