Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean. That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play? Santapplause!
What do you call people who are scared of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic!
What do you call Santa when he has no money?
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Claus!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a flying saucer? A UF ho, ho, ho
What do you get if you cross Santa with a gardener? Someone who likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
And what goes oh! oh! oh?
Father Christmas walking backwards.
What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!