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”I don't care who you are, fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!”


Sherlock's favorite Christmas song:
"I'll be Holmes for Christmas"


How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!


What is green, covered with tinsel and goes "ribbet ribbet"? A mistle-"toad"!


What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
"'Tis the season to be jelly!"


Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crummy!


What kind of money do they use at the North Pole? Cold cash!


I keep Christmas in my heart every month of the year. That's because it's on my charge card statement that long!


Why is Christmas just like another day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!


CHRISTMESS: Five minutes after the gifts are opened!


What kind of music do elves like best?
"Wrap" music!


Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis!


How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party? Chick to chick!