Liven Up The Feast

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Here's some things you can do to liven up YOUR Thanksgiving dinner:

** When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught!" and refuse to say anything more.

** Bring a date to dinner that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

** During the dinner, turn to your mom and say, "See, mom? I *told* you they wouldn't notice the turkey was beyond the expiration date! You were worried about nothing!"

I Figure: When Uncle Jed starts a talkin all his crap at table this year on thanks givin, I'mma go straight to his jaw - then i'mma pass Granny the mashed purtaters!

My family's always been kind of dysfunctional about Thanksgiving. Instead of roast turkey, our main course has always been Wild Turkey.