Poem From A New Christian

How do I know you’re the one? How do I see as you see? How do I believe? I want what she has, she’s always happy. Even when things go wrong. I want that. God if you are real, help me see, know, and believe in you. There’s so much I don’t understand. This is the first time I’ve been to this church and I’m nervous.

During alter call I was scared. If I give my life to you, it will be when I’m ready. I will be strong and will know when I hear…..What did the pastor say? Oh, yes, that small voice calling my name. I haven’t heard it, but I am feeling drawn to go to church next Sunday.

Sunday morning is now here. I’d rather stay home and sleep, but something rouses me to my feet. I anticipate the service and sit in the back corner like last Sunday. Then I heard something that was in my mind. A small voice that sounded unfamiliar. It wasn’t my consciousness, but I knew it was God. I can’t tell you how I knew….I just knew. His voice kept saying that I need to choose…and choose now.

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But God, why would you want me. I chose to sleep around and to kill my brother. I chose to disobey every authority set by me. I chose to put needles in my body. Why do you care what I choose? I felt His hand touch my cheek and wipe my tears away and just say “I love you. I loved you then and love you now. You are my child. Come home.”

Tears streamed down my face and cannot tell this story without bursting into tears. All I know is that I was lost and now I’m found. Amen

Author: Jennifer Larson

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